Beyond Words: Supporting Communication & Connection
Beyond Words: Supporting Communication & Connection
You're sitting on the floor with your three-year-old. They're making sounds—not words, just sounds. They're pointing at something across the room. Their body is tense. You can see the frustration building.
You try to guess: "Do you want the toy? The cup? The iPad?"
Nothing. The sounds get louder. Their hands start flapping. And then they're crying, and you're crying, because you don't know what they're trying to tell you.
In that moment, you think: If only they could just talk.
But here's what you might not realise: your child is already talking. You just haven't learned their language yet.
The Myth We Need to Let Go Of
There's a belief embedded so deeply in our culture that we barely question it: communication equals speech. We wait for first words. We celebrate sentences. We measure progress in vocabulary counts. And when those words don't come—or come differently—we grieve. That grief is real. It deserves space. But it can also blind us to something profound: your child is already communicating. Every single day.
They communicate through eye contact (or the intentional avoidance of it), gestures and pointing, leading you by the hand to what they want, sounds and vocalisations, facial expressions, body language and movement, and yes, behaviour too. Communication isn't just words. It's connection. Expressing needs, sharing joy, seeking comfort, being understood.
When we shift our focus from "Why won't my child talk?" to "How is my child already communicating?"—everything changes.
What Communication Really Means
Communication is any intentional act that conveys meaning to another person.
Break that down: Intentional means your child is trying to share something with you—a need, a feeling, an idea. Conveys meaning means you can interpret what they're trying to say, even if it's not in words. To another person means communication is relational. It requires both a sender and a receiver.
When we expand our definition beyond spoken language, we begin to see our children more clearly. We notice the way they pull your hand toward the fridge when they're hungry, the sound they make that means "more," the way they turn away when they're overwhelmed, the smile that lights up their whole face when you walk in the room.
These are all acts of communication. They're just as valid—just as worthy of celebration—as any first word.
What Speech Pathologists Actually Do
If your child sees a speech pathologist, you might assume their job is to "teach your child to talk." While speech development is part of their role, it's not the only part—or even the most important part.
Speech pathologists (also called speech-language therapists or “speechies” for short) support children and families across several areas. They work on developing speech and language skills, including articulation (forming sounds), expressive language (using words or symbols to communicate), and receptive language (understanding what others say).
They strengthen play and attention, because play is how children learn language. A speech pathologist will often work on joint attention, turn-taking, and symbolic play—all foundational skills for communication.
They build social and emotional understanding: recognising emotions, reading social cues, learning how to interact with others.
They introduce and support AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication). For children who are non-verbal or have limited verbal speech, AAC provides alternative ways to communicate. We'll dive deep into this shortly.
And they encourage confidence and self-expression. At its core, speech therapy is about helping your child feel heard, understood, and empowered to express who they are.
The goal isn't just speech. It's connection.
AAC: Opening New Pathways to Communication
AAC stands for Augmentative and Alternative Communication. It includes any method that helps a person communicate in addition to, or instead of, speech.
Let's be clear about something right from the start: AAC is not a last resort. It's not something you try only after speech "fails." It's a tool—and for many children, it's a lifeline.
Types of AAC
AAC exists on a spectrum, from low-tech to high-tech, and from unaided to aided systems.
Unaided AAC refers to communication methods that don't require any external tools: gestures like waving, pointing, or nodding; sign language like Key Word Sign (Makaton) or Auslan; and body language including facial expressions and physical proximity.
Aided AAC (Low-Tech) requires external tools but doesn't need electricity. This includes the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS), where a child hands you a picture to request something; communication boards with symbols or photos the child can point to; and core word boards featuring high-frequency words like "go," "more," "help," and "stop."
Aided AAC (High-Tech) involves electronic or digital systems. Speech-generating devices like the Tobii Dynavox or Accent are dedicated devices. AAC apps on tablets include Proloquo2Go, TouchChat, and LAMP Words for Life. Eye-gaze systems allow a child to select words or symbols simply by looking at them.
How AAC Works
AAC doesn't replace speech—it supports it. Here's how.
AAC reduces frustration. When a child can communicate their needs, behaviour often improves because they no longer have to resort to screaming or hitting to be understood.
AAC builds language comprehension. Even if a child isn't speaking, using AAC helps them understand how language works—that words have meaning, that communication is a two-way process.
AAC often leads to speech. This might sound contradictory, but research consistently shows that AAC can facilitate speech development. Why? Because it removes the pressure. When children aren't constantly being asked to "use your words," they're more likely to experiment with sounds and words on their own terms.
AAC gives autonomy. AAC allows children to express preferences, ask questions, share ideas, and participate in their own lives. That's powerful.
When to Start AAC
Now.
Seriously. If your child is struggling to communicate verbally, there's no benefit to waiting.
Common fears parents have: "But what if they become dependent on it and never talk?" "What if we start too early and it delays their speech?" "What if they don't need it and we're giving up on them?"
Let's address these directly.
Debunking the Myths
Myth: AAC will stop my child from talking.
Reality: No research supports this. In fact, the opposite is true. Studies show that AAC often increases vocalisations and speech attempts because it reduces frustration and models language in a visual, concrete way.
Think of it this way: Would you refuse to give a child with a broken leg crutches because you're worried they'll become "dependent" on them? Of course not. AAC is the same. It's a support, not a crutch.
Myth: My child is too young for AAC.
Reality: No one is too young to communicate. Babies use gestures and sounds long before they speak. AAC simply gives children more tools to express themselves earlier.
Even children as young as 12-18 months can begin using simple picture boards or signs. The earlier you start, the earlier your child experiences the power of communication.
Myth: We should try speech first and use AAC as a last resort.
Reality: AAC is not a last resort. It's a first-line tool. Waiting to introduce AAC only delays your child's ability to communicate and increases frustration for everyone.
You can—and should—use AAC alongside speech therapy. They're not mutually exclusive.
Myth: AAC is only for children who will never speak.
Reality: Many children who use AAC do develop speech over time. But even if they don't, AAC allows them to communicate fully and independently. The goal isn't speech for speech's sake—it's communication.
Myth: AAC is too complicated.
Reality: AAC can be as simple as a single picture card or as complex as a multi-level speech-generating app. You start where your child is and build from there. And you don't have to figure it out alone—speech pathologists are trained to guide you.
Meet Jasper: An AAC Story
Jasper is four. He's autistic and non-verbal. For years, his mum Anika held onto hope that one day he'd just start talking. She tried everything—speech therapy, play-based interventions, even eliminating gluten and dairy (on the advice of a well-meaning relative).
But the words didn't come.
Every day, Jasper's frustration grew. He'd scream. He'd throw things. He'd bite his own hand when he couldn't make himself understood. Anika felt like she was failing him. Then Anika learned about AAC—not as a "backup plan," but as a valid and powerful form of communication.
She was hesitant at first. She worried that giving Jasper an AAC device meant she was "giving up" on speech. But she learned that AAC doesn't replace speech. It gives Jasper a voice right now—while they wait for words to come, or even if they don't.
So Anika tried it. She started with a simple core word board with pictures for "more," "help," "go," "stop," "eat," and "play."
Within days, something shifted.
Jasper pointed to "eat" when he was hungry. He pointed to "go" when he wanted to leave the park. He pointed to "help" when he couldn't open a container.
For the first time in months, Anika understood him. The meltdowns didn't disappear overnight, but they decreased. Jasper was calmer. Anika felt like she'd been given a key to unlock a door she didn't even know was there.
Six months later, Jasper transitioned to a speech-generating app on a tablet. He now has over 200 words programmed in. And here's the surprising part: he's started vocalising more. Not full words yet—but sounds, approximations, attempts. Because the pressure is off. He doesn't have to talk to be heard. That freedom has made space for speech to emerge naturally.
Finding the Right Speech Pathologist
Not all speech pathologists have training in AAC or experience with neurodivergent children. So how do you find the right fit?
Look for a therapist who values your input as a parent. You know your child better than anyone. A good therapist listens to you, asks about your observations, and incorporates your goals into therapy.
They should explain clearly and without jargon. Therapy should never feel like a mystery. If you don't understand what's happening or why, ask. A good therapist will explain it in plain language.
They set goals together with you. Therapy goals should be meaningful to your family—not just "milestones" from a checklist. Does your child need to request help? Greet family members? Express feelings? Those are goals worth working toward.
They focus on progress that feels meaningful, not just measurable. Yes, data matters. But so does connection. A therapist who celebrates small wins—a new sound, a longer gaze, a spontaneous gesture—is one who understands what really matters.
They support AAC early and enthusiastically. If a therapist says, "Let's wait and see if speech develops first," that's a red flag. AAC should be introduced early, not as a last resort.
And they work collaboratively with other professionals. Communication doesn't happen in isolation. A good speech pathologist will work with your child's OT, psychologist, teacher, and other supports to ensure consistency.
Everyday Strategies to Support Communication
You don't need to be a speech pathologist to support your child's communication. Here are evidence-based strategies you can use at home.
Follow your child's lead. Let their interests guide the moment. If they're fascinated by trains, talk about trains. Narrate what they're doing: "You're pushing the blue train! Choo choo!"
Get down to their level. Face-to-face interaction encourages eye contact, joint attention, and turn-taking. It shows your child: I'm here. I'm listening.
Give time to respond. Silence is powerful. After you ask a question or model language, wait. Count to 10 if you need to. Give your child space to process and respond in their own way.
Talk, talk, talk. Narrate what's happening throughout the day. "We're putting on your shoes. Red shoes! Now we're going outside." This constant language bath helps your child connect words to actions and objects.
Use visuals and signs. Reinforce spoken words with pictures, symbols, or sign language. Visual supports make language concrete and accessible.
Make it fun. Play and laughter build connection. Sing songs, make silly sounds, play peek-a-boo. Communication develops best when it's joyful.
Model AAC. If your child uses an AAC device or board, you use it too. This is called "aided language stimulation," and it's one of the most effective ways to teach AAC. Point to words as you say them. Show your child how communication works.
The Emotional Journey: Validation and Hope
Let's pause here and acknowledge something that often goes unsaid: it's hard when your child doesn't speak.
It's hard when other parents talk about their toddler's first words and you have to smile and nod while your heart breaks a little.
It's hard when family members ask, "When will they start talking?" as if you haven't been asking yourself that same question every single day.
It's hard when you second-guess everything—Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Did I cause this somehow?
It's hard when you grieve a future you imagined: bedtime stories read aloud, silly jokes shared, "I love you, Mum" whispered before sleep.
That grief is real. It's okay to feel it.
But here's what we want you to know: your child's communication—whatever form it takes—is enough.
The way they pull your hand to show you what they want? That's communication.
The way their whole face lights up when you walk into the room? That's communication.
The sound they make that only you understand? That's communication.
You are not failing your child if they don't speak. You are not giving up if you introduce AAC. You are not settling for less.
You are listening. You are learning their language. You are building a bridge between their world and yours.
That is everything.
A Final Note on Core Words
One of the most effective AAC strategies is focusing on core words—the high-frequency words we use most often in everyday life.
Core words include: more, stop, go, help, want, like, don't, my, your, that, this, here, there, up, down, in, out, on, off.
These words are powerful because they're flexible. "More" can mean more food, more play, more time. "Help" works in dozens of situations. "Go" opens up the world.
Instead of focusing on nouns (specific objects like "train" or "apple"), core words teach children how language works. They give children the building blocks to communicate about anything.
If you're just starting with AAC, begin with core words. Your speech pathologist can guide you.
Reflection Prompt
Take a moment to pause and reflect:
"How does my child already communicate, and how can I show them I'm listening?"
Notice one small moment each day when your child tries to connect—with a sound, glance, gesture, or movement. When you respond, you show them their voice matters.
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From the RippleAbility Team
Communication is one of the most profound human needs. To be heard. To be understood. To matter. Your child deserves that. And so do you.
Whether your child communicates through words, signs, pictures, devices, or a language uniquely their own—what matters most is connection. You're learning their language. That's one of the most beautiful acts of love there is.
This resource provides general guidance only. Every child is unique—please seek professional advice that fits your family's specific needs.
